‘I ask this guy who looks like a vampire…”What the hell is that? Is there a fire or terrorist or something?”…He does this weird giggle and say’s the siren means it’s “Slip and Slide time!”…100’s of guys, the ones that aren’t already naked, drop there pants and start masturbating on the dance floor. ‘As I’m saying “NO!”…a loud siren/whistle starts blowing and the whole club starts going bananas! ‘I jump back and think about beating the shit out of him and he starts laughing and in very bad English says “You vant chemical to keep wake and make you high?”… ‘This Nazi looking guy comes up to me with a syringe and acts like he’s going to stick me with it. There was one dude that was riding another guy (cowgirl style) and yelling “Balles Tief!” “Balles Tief!”…I ask the dude next to me…”What’s he screamin?!”…He informs “Balles Tief” is German for “Balls Deep”… ‘Now there are naked guys everywhere! Sucking each other off. There’s only one problem: one of Kyle’s new friends has his phone, so he’ll have to find him before he can make off. ‘I saw one guy getting tag teamed (double penetration style) by 2 guys! I said to hell with this…I’m out of here!’ It WASN’T! The guy that’s basically getting impaled is enjoying it!’ ‘There’s another guy, and I kid you not…he’s got his arm, almost to his elbow, up another guys ass! I thought it was a magic trick or an illusion. ‘I decide to go get a beer and I tell myself-maybe I’m in the wrong part of the club. Learning his new friends were gay was only step one, though, I look around and there are 3 or 4 naked guys dancing all crazy with erections. ‘I’m not talking about a little kiss or a peck, I’m talking open-mouth, tongue kissing.’ They both pop them and then start making out,’ he says. ‘They offer me these strange looking little pills and I pass.
You don’t just check your phone while waiting to get into Berghain, because if you do, you might not get in.īut once they were in, things got real and very much NSFW.
It all started compartively harmless, he said, with the guys cutting the queue and cussing Kyle out because he was checking his phone. What happens in Berghain stays in Berghain – unless you’re Kyle, and work through your nightly adventures in a hilariously honest, and slightly shocked, Yelp review.
The famous club, said to have the hardest door in Berlin, operates a strict no pictures-policy and is known for its gay sex parties, usually held in the basement, and the general ‘anything goes’ attitude of partygoers, no matter if we’re talking drugs or sex. Kyle, a (presumably) straight guy who was on holiday in Berlin, didn’t seem to have a clue what what he was getting into when two newly-made friends took him along. Berlin’s Berghain is often cited as the world’s best club – but for a straight guy from San Antonio, it turned out to be opposite.